I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I fill condoms, not promises.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
