somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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