bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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