She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
