So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
