i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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