my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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