i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
