Define "chronic" masturbator.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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