dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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