I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Girls should come with a carfax report
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
