She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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