Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
