How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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