Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
