I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
