GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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