I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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