He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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