Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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