You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Pants are for mortals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
