I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
