Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
