A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
