if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
