I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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