my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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