I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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