Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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