I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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