I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
