Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
