so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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