I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
