I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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