the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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