i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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