I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Randomize
