I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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