i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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