i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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