Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize