I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
