Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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