I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
