The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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