Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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