your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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