I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
