That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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