And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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