so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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