i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if only i could text you this smell
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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