K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
