well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
